eleven

pooka11

My Baby Girl is eleven.

Eleven.

It’s that odd age that isn’t quite a teenager, but definitely isn’t a child. Throw in her much-higher-than-average intelligence and her love of playing dress-up, and we’ve got the epitome of eleven: A little bit of everything tossed into a blender.

When I was eleven, I was obsessed with clothes, boys, and autobiographies (Helen Keller and Anne Frank were favorites – girls who had it worse than I did, but kept a positive attitude). I collected pictures and posters of The Karate Kid actor Ralph Macchio. I had my best friends, wrote a lot, and practiced the saxophone every day.

Rhiannon also loves clothes, boys, and books, although she tends to place graphic novels higher on her list than I did. (She is, however, currently reading I Am Malala, you know, that autobiography about a girl who had it worse than Rhiannon, but still keeps a positive attitude…). Luckily, she has much better taste than I and only collects pictures and posters of Doctor Who. She has a great set of friends, writes a lot, and practices piano nearly every day.

I’m glad that I had the experiences I did so that I can help her on this wacky preteen journey, because it isn’t easy. Frankly, I found it to be much worse than high school, which was not so bad because I was determined to be accepted for being myself, even if I wasn’t exactly sure who she was. That determination made me bolder and able to speak my mind. I might have been better at being a teen than I am at being an adult, come to think of it…I hope I can pass that odd teenage (outward) confidence down to her as well. Fake it ’til you make it actually works.

I love that she’s sensitive and thoughtful and kind of a nerd. I’m glad that, like I was at eleven, she isn’t in a hurry to grow up. She wants to take that slowly. She still plays with dolls occasionally, has way too many stuffed animals in her room, and doesn’t care if her socks match or not. She slouches unless she’s playing piano, she talks too quickly (and sometimes too loudly), gets too much electronics time, and is nervous about things like driving, even though it’s years away. I’m okay with her wanting to hold off, even though I’m a little sad that she inherited my anxiety about things that aren’t even real.

When I checked in with her tonight and looked at her sleeping face, I could still see the baby there. I know that’s slipping away and eventually that face might disappear, but for now I can still visit it.

And she’ll always be my Baby Girl. My Pooka.

#62milliongirls

It’s official! I’m the room parent for Pooka’s class! I get to plan some fun parties and assist her teacher in any way she’ll let me, and I’m excited.

I’m grateful every day that she gets to be in this special class full of other gifted kids with
a teacher who is trained to meet their special needs. I’m grateful that Rhiannon doesn’t quite grasp how lucky she actually is for this opportunity. I’m grateful she can take it for granted, especially when #62milliongirls in the world don’t get even the most basic education.

It should be a human right to know how to read and write. Without the chance to learn, how can one ever rise above?

Do what you can. Get books into the hands of ALL the kids you know. Vote for those that would feed both a child’s body AND her mind. The world deserves no less than the brightest.

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where did the time go? (or 15 reasons to ignore your blog)

I’ve been busy:

1. Goofing off with Pooka.
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2. Getting to know Soups…
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3. …while missing Cleo terribly.
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4. Back to school and all its expenses, er, new experiences
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5. Listening to great music
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6. Getting the BENCH going
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7. Meeting with artists and craftsmen
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8. And talking friends into making things (Thank you, Lisa!)
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9. Making stuff myself
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10. Doing some hair and finding an organic haircare line that lives up to the hype
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Neuma is fabulous!

11. Hanging with these goofballs…
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12.Spending time with friends…
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13. …and this handsome guy
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14. Drinking too much caffeine
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15. And celebrating love…
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…in all its forms!

thrifting and some treats

everything old is new again

IMG_20150724_163403After an unsuccessful lunch in which I spent a lot of time on my phone either texting or talking (I  made the bad decision to send out out a group text – times ten), Pooka and I decided to do some thrifting. She’s collecting marbles and I need display ideas for the new shop, so we decided to go to Antique World Mall. We spent two hours there and still only walked the edges!

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IMG_20150724_194330IMG_20150724_194259Hope you found your treats…

focus

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Watching Pooka learn some new art techniques makes me realize what I need to do: Stay focused, learn something new and push through the frustration.

The past couple of weeks have brought…changes. I no longer have my business partner – which brings with it new challenges and stresses – and the X, who disappears for months and then shows up demanding time that Pooka is too stressed to give, has reappeared and is, you know, demanding time that Pooka is too stressed to give. He thinks it’s me, so he sends me hours of harassing texts, has his girlfriend leave me messages telling me what a horrible person I am, and only quiets when I tell him I have contacted my (very expensive) attorney. So I am also about to become heavily involved in the legal process from two different angles, which costs money…that I need for my daughter (the X is currently on a not-paying-support cycle) and my business (I am very grateful for the amazingly supportive stylists at Illuminate).

Yay. Life has me juggling knives.

The stress has helped me lose six pounds, though. Regular visits with my doctor, 1200 calories a day, 30-60 minutes of exercise every morning, Weight Watchers, 20 grams of carbs a day and even medication over the last eight months didn’t help me lose even one pound, but the stress of the last few weeks has me losing weight. Go figure. Apparently there is something to “fat and happy” after all.

So, yeah. Focus.

Time for me to be glad I had those few wonderful months in which I was able to work Sunday through Wednesday as I ramp up my salon schedule, take on more content marketing work and maybe even finish a book that anyone might give a damn about.

Somehow, everything always works out.