Well, my horrible fear of confrontation has bit me in the ass again. Sigh. Lesson learned? That you can’t actively avoid conflict, because inevitably it will force you to engage, usually at a higher price.
I am not one who wanders about looking for a fight. I often ignore small things, hoping that they will go away. This has not been a great strength, even though it sounds like a good thing. Avoiding a battle? Sounds fabulous! But what I’m learning is that you have to confront things head on as you notice them or else. Sometimes the other party will feel like you don’t care enough (bleh to how many times I’ve heard this) and will resort to horrible behavior to get your attention; sometimes the other party thinks you’re really stupid and and will use it as an excuse to misbehave at your expense (literally – and it gets expensive).
Trust me; your relationship will burst apart and leave no room for repair.
DO. NOT. AVOID.
So, ugh, I am admitting that my ignoring little things here and there is one of my worst flaws and I resolve to change that. No more waiting until the bomb drops before I deal with conflicts – I will face them as they come and hope that they won’t grow into outright war.
I vowed to be honest and stop telling even white lies a while ago, but somehow I missed the “be honest with yourself” part of it all. I was lying to myself when I thought it was creating a better environment by avoiding combative behavior. All it does is make the ending…well, the ending.